So You Wanna Be An Aries?

I have re-started an experiment I started back in ’97 when I had the honor of meeting Herbert Brün and attending one of his classes at the School for Designing a Society in Urbana, IL, where I learned how words could shape reality.  Mr. Brun had proposed a discussion for that particular class based on whether “Power” can be a positive force.  In the end, after much (sometimes heated) discourse by the students, his position was that it could not; that any use of the word “power” was inherently flawed, but that is another post for another day.  On that morning, Mr. Brün had forever changed my outlook on life and on the use of words; how words affect us and the world around us.  The concept of “reality is a word construct” never once occurred to me before that discussion.

When I returned back home to Dreamtime Village, I made a plan to begin an experiment based on what I had learned at the School.  After the loss of my son Yogi in ’95, I had developed an acute case of anthrophobia, or fear of people or society, which was highly problematic since I was living in a community filled with lots of transient folks!  It kept me hidden away from everyone, and consequently I missed a lot of life during that time.

One night, when Lyx and Zon were relating to me all the colorful details of yet another fantastic party that I had missed, I decided it was high time to take some action.  The next day I would “leave the womb” and pretend I was not afraid.  At first the intention was to go over to where the visitors resided (at one of Dreamtime‘s buildings called the “hotel“) and finally meet who was there.   Of course, the fear was still there, underneath the mask, but I was determined to play the game through, even if it was only to be for one hour.  I remember thinking “Can’t they see that I’m faking?  It’s so obvious I’m petrified to even be here!”  but if they did notice, they must have been pretending themselves, because I couldn’t see any evidence of it.  On the walk home that afternoon, I was walking on air, elated and yet still shaking with the effort that it took to put on such an extravagant performance.

The next day was a repeat performance, followed by another day of the same results, and so on.  This experiment continued, growing incrementally each time, until one day, about a month later, while I was laughing with someone at a party, it occurred to me that I wasn’t afraid any more.  It wasn’t that my acting skills had improved, I actually wasn’t afraid any more.  It was an overwhelming realization.  I was stunned.  I wasn’t afraid at all, in fact, I was totally relaxed and having a great time!  I never expected to alter my personality.  It was simply an experiment to see if I could fool myself for short periods of time.  Even now, after more than 10 years of this revelatory moment, I am overcome with emotion at the wonder of it all.

These days I am no longer anthrophobic, but I am still battling with stage fright.  Recently I was helping a friend through some grief issues, and when I shared this story with him, it reminded me that I could take on another experiment to overcome this remaining phobia.  I was thinking about a dear friend of mine who doesn’t have stage fright.  In fact, she is one of the most bold and outgoing people I know.  She is an Aries, and whether or not you believe in astrology, she is the very picture of this sign.

If you don’t know anything about the astrological sign Aries, here is a brief description:

(a) The Ram; the first of the twelve signs in the zodiac, which the sun enters at the vernal equinox, about the 21st of March.
(b) A constellation west of Taurus, drawn on the celestial globe in the figure of a ram.

Now, here is Webster’s definition of a battering ram:

1 : a military siege engine consisting of a large wooden beam with a head of iron used in ancient times to beat down the walls of a besieged place
2 : a heavy metal bar with handles used (as by firefighters) to batter down doors and walls

Here is an astrological description of Aries:

Like the ram, Aries sees a target, puts its head down, and charges. After the initial thrust, he or she looks around, resets its direction and charges again.  A phrase that is associated with Aries is: “I AM,”

Here is a description of Virgo, which is my astrological sign:

The Virgo personality is nothing if not practical. You can be attentive to details to the point of obsession. Virgos have encyclopedic memories for detail, and can often recall casual references to minor subjects.  A phrase that most aptly describes this personality is: “I analyze.”

 

Now, it makes no difference if you believe in astrology or not, as for me, I believe and don’t believe in just about everything.  In the words of Robert Anton Wilson, “Belief is the death of intelligence.”  This is less about astrology than it is about my experimenting with the concept of reality being a word construct.  If I pretend I have these bold qualities of this archetype, then I will perhaps acquire them with practice.

Stay tuned to see if the experiment works!…..

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